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Tag: Relationships

Unconditional Love vs Self-Worth

This blog post discusses the concept of unconditional love versus self-worth in relationships. It emphasizes the importance of recognizing when it’s time to let go and move on from a relationship that doesn’t align with our sense of self-worth, and how doing so can lead to personal growth and happiness.

Knowing When to Let Go for a Healthier Relationship

Introduction

Love is one of the most powerful emotions we experience as humans. It has the ability to bring us immense joy and happiness, but it can also cause us pain and heartache. When we love someone, we often want to hold onto that feeling forever. However, there are times when we need to let go of someone we love, even if that love is unconditional.

In this blog post, we will explore the idea of unconditional love versus self-worth, and how knowing when to let go can lead to a healthier relationship. This post inspiration came from a photo I saw on social media. When I shared it so many people commented/liked and shared. The theme resonated greatly with so many people. I was so surprised but realized we needed to dig into the topic.


So today, we discuss the importance of self-worth, the meaning of unconditional love, and when it’s time to let go of someone we love.

Unconditional Love

Unconditional love is often viewed as the highest form of love. It means that we love someone regardless of their flaws, mistakes, or shortcomings. We love them for who they are, not what they do or how they behave. It is a love that is free from conditions or expectations. We love because we choose to, not because we have to.

However, unconditional love does not mean that we allow someone to treat us poorly or disrespect us. It doesn’t mean that we should stay in a relationship that is unhealthy or unfulfilling. Unconditional love should be accompanied by self-worth, which is the belief that we are deserving of love and respect.

Self-Worth

Self-worth is the foundation of a healthy relationship. It is the belief that we are worthy of love, respect, and happiness. When we have a strong sense of self-worth, we are less likely to tolerate behavior that is disrespectful or hurtful. We understand our own value and refuse to settle for less than we deserve.

However, self-worth is something that can be difficult to maintain, especially in a relationship where we feel vulnerable or exposed. It can be easy to doubt ourselves when we are in love with someone, especially if that person does not value us in the way we believe we deserve. When this happens, it’s important to take a step back and evaluate the relationship.

The Importance of Knowing When to Let Go

Knowing when to let go of someone we love is one of the most difficult decisions we can make. It’s natural to want to hold onto a relationship, especially if we have invested time and energy into it. However, there are times when it’s necessary to let go, even if that love is unconditional.

If someone does not value us in the way we deserve, then it’s time to re-evaluate the relationship. This doesn’t mean that we don’t love them anymore, but it does mean that we understand our own worth and refuse to tolerate behavior that is disrespectful or hurtful. It’s important to recognize when a relationship is no longer healthy or fulfilling, and to have the courage to walk away.

Also read: https://creatingsoulspace.com/2023/04/what-a-shame-researcher-taught-me-about-living-big/

Loving the Memory of Someone

Loving the memory of someone is a way to honor the positive moments that were shared together while recognizing that the relationship has run its course.

It’s a bittersweet experience, but it’s a way to move forward in a healthy and positive way.

By loving the memory of someone, we can acknowledge the good times while also recognizing that it’s time to let go.

We have all been here. Even writing this I’m still feel the pang of an old relationship that I had to let go.

Moving On

Moving on from a relationship can be incredibly difficult, but it’s important to remember that it’s for the best. If the other person is not able to provide the love and support that we need, then we are better off without them in our lives. This is not an easy decision to make, but it’s one that can lead to a happier and more fulfilling life.

Moving on can also be an opportunity for personal growth and self-discovery. It’s a time to focus on ourselves, our goals, and our dreams. We can use this time to rediscover who we are, what we want, and what we deserve in a relationship.

Additional Resources:

The Wisdom of a Broken Heart” by Susan Piver is a self-help book that aims to provide guidance and comfort to those who are experiencing heartbreak. Piver draws from her personal experience of going through a painful breakup and combines it with Buddhist principles to offer a unique perspective on healing.

The book is divided into three sections, each of which explores a different stage of the healing process. The second section focuses on the process of letting go and moving forward. Piver discusses the concept of impermanence and how it can be applied to relationships. She encourages readers to embrace change and let go of attachment to a specific outcome.

The final section of the book offers advice for creating a new life after heartbreak. Piver emphasizes the importance of self-care, setting boundaries, and cultivating a sense of purpose. She also offers practical advice for dating again and building healthy relationships in the future.

Overall, “The Wisdom of a Broken Heart” is a compassionate and practical guide for anyone going through a difficult breakup. Piver’s approach combines personal experience, Buddhist philosophy, and practical advice to offer a holistic perspective on healing from heartbreak. You can find the book at Amazon or any of your favorite book stores!

Conclusion

Unconditional love is a beautiful thing, but it should be accompanied by self-worth. If someone does not value us in the way we deserve, then it’s important to recognize when it’s time to let go. By loving the memory of someone and moving on, we can honor the positive moments that were shared while also focusing on our own happiness and personal growth.

It’s important to remember that letting go of someone we love is not a sign of weakness, but rather a sign of strength. It takes courage to recognize when a relationship is no longer healthy or fulfilling and to have the courage to walk away. By doing so, we open ourselves up to new possibilities and the potential for a happier and more fulfilling life.

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What A Shame Researcher Taught Me About Living BIG

Everything I learned about Boundaries, I learned from Brene Brown

Let me be the first to say, I love Brene Brown (BB). I’ve consumed everything she’s written. Her Ted Talk (you know the one from 2010) that made her a household name was amazing. She’s a shame researcher. Brown will use her occupation as a shame researcher to shut down small talk on an airplane. She is funny, smart and tells it like it is.

This lady backs her stuff up with data. I love it. Read through the article and let me know your thoughts. I provide my favorite BB short at the end!

 What boundaries need to be in place for me to be in my integrity and to be generous in my assumptions about others? 

Living BIG is a concept introduced by Brené Brown, which stands for “Boundaries, Integrity, and Generosity.” It’s a way of living life with courage, compassion, and purpose.

First up is Boundaries.

The “B” in BIG stands for boundaries. This means setting clear boundaries in our personal and professional lives. It means learning to say no when necessary, and respecting the boundaries of others. By setting boundaries, we can protect ourselves and our relationships from harm.

Also Read: Setting Boundaries with Family, Friends and Co-Workers.

Next is Integrity.

The “I” in BIG stands for integrity. This means being honest and authentic in all aspects of our lives, even when it’s difficult. When we live with integrity, we can build trust and connection with others.

The final piece is Generosity.

The “G” in BIG stands for generosity. This means being kind, empathetic, and compassionate towards ourselves and others. When we practice generosity, we can create a culture of belonging. We foster deeper connections with those around us.

When we have generosity and compassion for people in our lives, we can get rid of grief and anger. And if we are being honest? Our belief that people are just making shitty choices. What if they are really just doing their best?

Living BIG, boundaries, integrity, generosity. What boundaries need to be in place for me to be in my integrity and be generous towards you?

Brené Brown

Some final thoughts on Living BIG.

To sum up, living BIG is a call for us to live with intention and purpose. To strive to be our best selves. It’s about embracing vulnerability, practicing self-compassion, and showing up for ourselves and others with courage and compassion.

Listen to the podcast here.

This is my FAVORITE SHORT about “The Power of Empathy.”

Setting Boundaries: How to Do It with Family, Friends and Co-Workers

If I could have any superpower, it wouldn’t be invisibility or flying or walking through walls. I want it to be great at setting boundaries and sticking to them. It takes courage to establish and maintain your boundaries with those closest to you.

Why is this important? Why do you need to set boundaries anyway?

Healthy boundaries = Self care, happiness, loving relationships, high self esteem

No boundaries = Anger, burnout, resentment, stress, relationship issues. The list can go on and on.

You see…boundaries are needed for your physical and mental health.

Remember what they say about resentment. It’s like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick.

Please put the poison down.

Here are some rules to live by that I learned along my way.

Prioritize Your Needs – First

Free Chicken. Remember in the before times when we all traveled the world? For those that paid attention during the safety announcements, the flight attendants gave you some free chicken (that’s Army speak for free advice/free gift). They tell you to put your oxygen mask on before helping others.

Words to live by. Genius. Am I Right? Bet you will pay more attention now!

In order for you to be of any use to those around you, you need to help yourself first. I say again, help yourself first. That’s not being selfish it’s being selfless.

Figure out you first. You are no use to any body if you can’t figure out your own issues.

Respect Yourself and Your Time

Has this ever happened to you? It’s 3:30 on a Friday afternoon. You can’t wait to spend the night canoodling with your boo watching Netflix.

You receive a Skype message from the boss,“do you mind staying signed in to work on project XYZ? You don’t have plans, right”

You know you have a date with Netflix and your hunny. Your brain says “yes I have plans” but your traitorous mouth says “nope, no problem!”

Ugh. Why do we do that? Why do we say yes?

We.

Are.

People.

Pleasers.

The worse part of part of being a people pleaser is that you can never please everyone at the same time. When you say yes to someone else, you are saying no to yourself.

Stop saying Yes when it should be a Hell No!

By setting a boundary on your time, you are creating time and space for yourself!

As a struggling People Pleaser myself, let me share with you my strategies.

  • Take a breath.
  • Wait a minute before answering. If they need an immediate answer just count to 10 before saying anything.
  • Check your schedule. If you have something on your calendar, even something small, say no.
  • Talk to your significant other. Sometimes, you need support to say, no. They can give you an out with your boss!

Create Non-Negotiable Rules

Your non-negotiable rules can be about anything. Here are some quick thoughts.

  • Violence of any kind
  • Abuse – physical or emotional
  • Safety of you or your family

Create an If/Then Rule. Creating an if/then rule is easy to do if you use this formula.

If your Co-Worker/Family/Friend Does X, I will do Y.

For instance, in all of my relationships, I have a “Don’t Raise Your Voice to Me” Boundary. Believe me, this is a fun boundary when you are in the military.

For all my boundaries, I give a warning shot. If someone raises their voice to me, I will say “Don’t talk to me like that, I understand your mad. Please lower your tone.” If they don’t, I will walk away until they do.

Communicate and Make Adjustments As Needed

Boundaries don’t need to be made in stone. You can adjust them as you need.

The hardest part of setting boundaries is identifying your need. Your needs or your understanding of your needs will change over time. To find more about trusting your gut, read my article on 5 Ways to Strengthen Your Intuition Today.

Once you figure out your desires, communicate your need to your significant other, family or coworkers. The key is to do this with patience and compassion.

If this is the first time you set boundaries, understand it will take them a minute to adjust to them.

Give them a little bit of grace. YET, still ensure they are respecting your boundary.

Be assertive when setting your own boundaries. Also, understand that others may be setting boundaries with you.

“Saying yes feels good, but a great relationship is one where you can say no and everyone is totally okay with it.”

Dr. Henry Cloud

Be okay with saying no to others and having other tell YOU no. Boundaries are two way streets. You must also respect the boundaries of others!

More Resources and Reading

  • This is a great resource for doing some exploration with setting boundaries.
  • Read this book. “Boundaries: When to say yes, how to say no to take control of your life,” by Dr. Henry Cloud. I love this book. Check it out from Amazon or your favorite book store.